A Conservative Kumbaya Call

Well - this has been one raucous conservative political season hasn't it Tea Partiers?  I thought it would be good for a quick "time out" for a little family healing time.  We need to remember what we believe and stand for, to come together in one conservative consciousness moment sans Kahlua or Cosmopolitans.  You will need those at the END of this blog. And the rest of the primaries.

We all started with the basic premise that "the enemy of our enemy is our friend," and got sidetracked by surprises at pro- and anti-Palin bias, premeditated Pawlenty punches at Michele and the crazy shock that true "conservatives" could remotely entertain the thought of a pro-amensty, pro-Cap & Trade, pro-gun control Christie.  (This means you Coulter.  Jump on the Tea Party Train and we'll avoid all the unnecessary "blond" jokes right here and now.)

Whether we will allow RINO, Christie-loving, establishment types to use the conservative label (we won't) - all of that effort can be saved for another time when we eviscerate them with Milton Friedman manuscripts and regale them with recitations of our beloved Ronny.

THIS is a time to figure out what we can agree on, ok?

Obama is the devil.  Ok, not Beelzebub proper, but we agree his outlook, his policy and his disregard for the foundations of this country Constitutionally and culturally are not just wrong - they are injurious.

Government Over-Spending (and lending to foreign banks) stops now.  (See how warm and fuzzy we are all feeling right now?)

Taxes should be cut.  And Raised.  Capital gains, death tax, corporate taxes should be reduced or eliminated.  And EVERYONE who is physically able to earn money should have a tab running of their portion of the military defense, common currency and law enforcement and other government services they enjoy whether they can pay it or not. Moreover, EVERYBODY PAYS SOMETHING should be our new motto.  Freedom isn't free.  For anyone.

Taxes should immediately be raised on tax hike proponents. If you publicly advocate for higher taxes, the nearest conservative should have the legal right to remove all the cash from your wallet and max out your credit cards.  Since you want to saddle our children and grandchildren with debt they didn't incur, these liberals and RINOS should allow us to do the same to them.  Moreover, the cash taken should be donated to either Right-To-Life, the National Bible Association or to purchase firearms for a 9 and under "guns" camp in Texas.

Someone should slap Huntsman.  Literally. (He just looks like the little boy that would finally run off the playground and go home to mommy. It certainly is worth a try.)

Eric Holder should be in jail.  Today will do just fine.

Americans who elect idiots should be tortured.  I think we can all get behind a new constitutional amendment that anyone who voted for Sheila Jackson Lee, John Conyers, Maxine Waters, or Nancy Pelosi should be forced to listen to Harry Reid recite Cowboy Poetry.  In the deserts of Nevada.  With no shelter.  To rap music.  For as long as Harry Reid remains in office.

Anyone who watches MSNBC should be tortured.  Oh, wait. That means they already are. (never mind).

So we could go on, but I think we've all bonded together again around common enemies of our freedom and the future of our country.  Whether we are Cain/Perry/
Newt/Bachmann, proponents or skeptics - we have to remind ourselves who the REAL enemy is.  As Pogo would say - it is probably us. Especially if we keep using false, misleading, or pejorative attacks on fundamentally GOOD men and women who generally want what we do.

I agree electing Romney or even Hunstman would be a terrible waste of an opportunity to save our nation.  But whomever you support, remember there are others like you who agree on the problem, but perhaps not the solution.  And we will all have to hold the feet to the fire of our nominee once they are elected to make sure the disasters of Balanced Budget Amendment cop-out, Debt Ceiling cave-in and TARP-like votes are not a political option, any of these Presidents would dare take. 

Now you may go back to your regularly scheduled animus, back-biting and name calling.
 
Yours truly,

PolitiJim

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Posted in: 2012,election,Featured,humor,politics